Potty Talk

Well, I never thought I’d say this, but we’re switching to cloth diapers. It has nothing to do with the environment. It has everything to do with potty training. Let me explain.

I’m in the process of reading a couple of books: "Early-Start Potty Training" by Dr. Linda Sonna and "Diaper Free" by Ingrid Bauer. They deal with the view that babies can and should be potty trained early, much earlier than the average age for completing potty training in Western developed nations, which is 35 months for girls and 39 months for boys. The current view on toilet training in the United States and Western Europe is to wait until the child shows readiness, because of the belief that they lack muscle control before 2.5-3 years of age (and some psychological nonsense). Whereas, in much of Asia, Africa, South America and Eastern Europe, they know that babies can be trained to use the toilet much sooner. In parts of the world where disposable diapers are not big business, babies are successfully potty trained by 12-18 months, and often much earlier. In fact (growing up in Eastern Europe), my own mother started toilet training me as soon as I was able to sit up and I was daytime trained by the time I turned 1.

There are many arguments for early training: it’s more hygienic; it’s harder to train after the age of two when the habit of going in the diaper has become ingrained; it reduces the risk of bladder problems later on; it teaches children to respect their bodies; it reduces baby’s contact with unsafe chemicals in disposable diapers, etc. To me, the most powerful argument is that by leaving children in diapers for 2-3 years, we are in essence training them to use their diapers as a wearable toilet only to have to re-train them later to use the toilet. Why not just train them to go straight to the toilet? This makes perfect sense to me.

The authors go through the historical context, which is very interesting. They point out that before the arrival of disposable diapers, early toilet training was the norm in America, too. The debate then was whether parents should start to train at 2 months or wait until the ripe old age of 3 months. In 1946, Dr. Spock shocked the nation when he suggested that parents wait to put their children on the potty until 7-9 months of age. When disposable diapers came out in 1961, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a pediatrician, was hired by Procter & Gamble (maker of Pampers) as their spokesperson. He cited the need for “physical, mental, and emotional readiness” and toilet training was pushed back even more. Psychologists jumped on the bandwagon, claiming that early training damages the child’s psyche (it’s actually not early training, but harsh training methods that do this). Well, as you can guess, a booming disposable diaper industry followed! Now we know why America’s children are in diapers until the age of 3 and beyond!

Anyway, to get back to my original thought: the reason we are switching to cloth (in the daytime). Because cloth diapers allow the child to feel wetness unlike disposable diapers and cloth diapered babies finish toilet training on average a whole year earlier than their disposable diapered friends! So I find this a natural next step in training Caleb. He needs to be able to feel when he is wet.

About a month ago, we began preparing Caleb for toilet training. We bought a potty and began getting him used to sitting on it, at first fully clothed; we began using the proper words for elimination when it happened; as well as showing him what it looks like (because, you know, diapered children never actually see their own waste). He also observed us using the toilet.

Then, a week ago, I decided to start putting him on the potty and holding him over the toilet regularly. Well, the day we started, he did not have a wet diaper all morning until that afternoon (because we left the house). He now pees on cue when I make a “pshh” sound, if he has to go. If he doesn’t, we wrap it up quickly. (We don’t have time to sit on the toilet all day!) He always looks into the toilet bowl afterwards to see if there’s anything in there. I can see the little wheels turning in his head. He is making connections. We still have wet diapers, but he hasn’t had a poopy diaper since we’ve started a week ago!

When I began, I didn’t have too many expectations, really. I just knew that I wanted him to start associating the toilet with toileting. I know it might take a while to fully train him, where he lets us know when he needs to go. Or it may only take another couple of weeks. Who knows? I really don’t care much. My focus is not on how long it takes; I’m not doing this because I mind changing his diapers. Frankly, putting him on the potty regularly is much more work for me. But I feel that this is the RIGHT TIME to start teaching him, not 2 years from now, not even 1 year from now. Why train him to be comfortable going in his diaper, only to switch things around at some magical age and re-train him to then go in the toilet? That makes no sense. I feel strongly that it is in his best interest to start learning the proper place for elimination - now.

By the way, I looked into the studies, which actually DO NOT support delaying potty training into the 2nd and 3rd years. This is another one of those things that we always thought was based on extensive research and study. Come to find out, it was all for the good of the disposable diaper industry!

Some additional online resources on the subject:
http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1006fam_toilettrained06.html
http://www.parentingscience.com/science-of-toilet-training.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_Brazelton/toilet_training_brazelton.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_The_Complete/toilet_training_the_complete.html