Too much love

It has been almost a month since Ariana joined our family, but only in the last couple of days has life returned to normal - normal meaning that all the help has left (Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Barbara), Daddy has gone back to work, and I am spending my days alone with the two children.

It has been an interesting ride, but not more difficult than I had imagined. These last couple of days have really been a good representative slice of what is to come, because my work schedule has been absolutely crazy these first two days alone with the kids. And that is just the way my life is these days. So there has been no easing into this new situtation; WE MARCHED STRAIGHT TO THE DEEP END AND THREW ME IN. It's good though, because the sooner I get used to juggling a hundred things at once, the better it is for all of us.

Yesterday morning found Caleb and I eating peanut butter straight out of the jar, for lack of available hands (mine) to fix anything else at the moment. (Though I must add that later on, we had wonderful baked spaghetti made by Daddy the day before, and even fruit!) Most of the day, the baby nursed/slept on my lap while I worked, stopping every few minutes to read Caleb a story or to check out his drawing, or to help him put on his socks... (Thankfully, he has stopped requiring assistance with his pants in the bathroom!! Except for #2, for which I still must sit in, often with baby in tow, waiting to wipe his butt.)

At one point, we sat on the hallway floor coloring for a scrumptious hour and a half while the baby slept next to us on the Boppy and my work emails waited their turn. Afterwards, I wondered how I had time for that and still did a 6,000 word day, which for many of you doesn't mean much, but maybe I can explain it like this - in my pre-children days I would set my daily word capacity at 2,500 words.

Apparently, in my post-children days, I am much better at juggling things. I also don't need as much sleep.

I did have a babysitter yesterday for 3 hours in the afternoon to play with Caleb, which helped a lot. But today, it was just us.

This morning started out better (than the peanut butter scenario). I made a Hungarian breakfast (bundaskenyer, a type of french toast) while nursing the baby in the sling. It was the first time I needed to do that - I couldn't have cooked any other way - she was screaming. Lucky for us and our breakfast, the smell of garlicky egg-dipped bread frying in olive oil magically lulled her to sleep. Call me crazy, but I was inspired and also gave both kids a bath at the same time - one in the tub, the other a sponge bath on the bathroom counter. (However, I did not manage to shower myself.) Later in the day, both kids napped at the same time, allowing me to write this post. Once again, I met all my (gazillion) deadlines. Maybe I just had a lucky couple of days, but maybe not. Maybe I can really do this, just like I had imagined. One multi-tasking, crazy-busy step at a time.

The most challenging thing so far has been keeping Caleb away from the baby. On every turn, and I do mean ON EVERY TURN, he wants to kiss the baby. Kiss the baby on the head, kiss the baby on the little foot, kiss the baby on the little hand...

Our problem isn't sibling jealousy, our problem is TOO MUCH LOVE, people.

I have not yet been able to convey to him that if we kiss the baby loudly on the head and twist her arms around so we can kiss her there, and tickle her feet as we kiss her there - SHE WILL NOT REMAIN SLEEPING. (And it is that blissful state we want her to be in. At least, most of the time right now, until we have finished our work, our cooking, our eating, etc.)

If it's not the constant kissing and hugging waking her up, it's the constant noise. My 2 year old son produces plenty of noise. So, I am constantly devising ways of keeping Caleb quiet and keeping him away from the baby. Devising ways of occupying him with this or that quiet activity, and in this or that OTHER ROOM. I don't want to hush him too much, after all he's a little boy who needs to make some noise. I also don't want to constantly shoosh him away, after all it's good that he loves her so much. I don't want to keep saying "don't kiss her." I want him to kiss her (just not when I've worked for an hour putting her to sleep).

I've tried suggesting that when her eyes are closed we shouldn't kiss her, that we should only kiss her when her eyes are open. Thus far, this suggestion has not met with success. Maybe I need to give it a little more time. Maybe when Caleb realizes that his breakfast hinges on whether she's awake or asleep, or his playtime with Mommy depends on it, we will see a change.

Other than all that, I just now need to figure out how to get the cooking, cleaning, and laundry done. Oh, and how to take a shower.