Tonight, in the spirit of the Looming Marxist Regime, we pondered whether we should just fall in line with the logic of the masses and force all of the hard-working kids who diligently spent their night going about town, collecting their precious candy, to come by our house when their work is done and SPREAD THE WEALTH AROUND. We agreed, each of them should put 5 pieces of their candy into our goodie bag.
This would all be done in the name of FAIRNESS, of course. Because we are obviously small and frail and unwilling to traipse around town all night, collecting our own candy. So they must collect it for us.
If they don't want to do this (what?! they think this is unfair?), we would sit them down and explain to them that they already have too much candy to begin with. This is not fair. Why do they need so much? Really, they should not be so SELFISH. Be an American, already! Handing over your candy after a long night's collecting is PATRIOTIC!
Luckily, we came to our senses before this scenario played out. We hope that the country also comes to its senses before this plays out nationally.
And so, what happened tonight? We VOLUNTARILY GAVE CANDY to all that came to our house. Because we are big-hearted that way. As for our own candy-collecting activity, we agreed that if we want candy, we really need to put our shoes (and cute patriotic elephant outfit) on and walk over to at least one neighbor, which we did.
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