Mama's Sick, Baby's Sad

Yesterday, I was sick with a bad food poisoning (rare this is, for I haven't had one in over 10 years!). There was lots of throwing up and whatnot. I will spare you the gory details. The only reason I think this is worth mentioning is to note Caleb's reaction to it.

The poor child. He didn't know what was wrong with Mama, only that I was not my usual jolly self. I was laying down all day and barely paying attention to him. Thankfully, Daddy was around to take care of him, yet he was obviously disturbed by my absence. (I tried to be in the same room, so I was present in person, but very absent in spirit.) It was remarkable, how this affected Caleb. He was so cranky all day, wailing loudly at the littlest things. All he wanted was his mommy. At times, I tried to lay down on the floor next to him, to comfort him, and he would scoot himself all the way up to me, trying to get close to me, to comfort me. He knew that something was wrong with me, and not only did he miss me, but it made him sad.

We slept a 12-hour dead men's sleep last night. This morning, all is well. Mama and thus Caleb are back to their cheerful selves. I was feeding him this morning and he kept hugging me, then patting me, as if to say, "Good, you're back!" What a sweet child.

Letter from Caleb

Hi Everyone! This is Caleb! Mama's hard at work on a project right now, so I decided to write myself! (Someone needs to keep this Blog going!)

I wanted to tell everyone what a great Christmas I had! This was in reality the 2nd Christmas of my young life, but since the 1st one was spent at the Hospital, I am not counting it. Besides, I am pretty sure that I slept right through that one, cause I DON'T REMEMBER A THING!

I have learnt a thing or two about Christmas this year. I now know that you have to travel long hours to get there. While you are traveling to Christmas, you listen to Christmas carols in the car. Loudly. And if you know the words, you can sing along. (Though Mama pays no heed to that rule. If she doesn't know the words, she just makes them up!)

When you arrive at Christmas, everyone will kiss you, hug you, and generally be very glad to see you. You will wonder what you did to get all this attention.

When you go inside, you marvel at the sight: a Christmas tree in every room! You now realize that all that traveling was surely worth it, for Christmas sure is beautiful! There are lights and decorations as far as the eye can see. Snowmen, Santas, carolers, and elves are tucked in every corner. And wait till you see the shiny gifts under the tree! (Later you find out that they are so much fun to shake and bang while everyone is gathered for a Christmas Eve party!)

Christmas Eve is also my birthday. I am one of the few people, whose birthday EVERYONE celebrates!
When Christmas Eve is also your birthday, you get to stay up really late to make the day as long as possible. I managed it until about 11! Can you believe it? When I began bursting into tears at the slightest things (like plopping on my butt), Mama said: "It's time."

When you wake up in the morning, Christmas is still there. Or should I say, the real fun is just beginning - for now you get to OPEN and PLAY with all the toys under the tree! And Christmas dinner is VERY YUMMY!! (How did Grandmom know that I love steak? And potatoes, and carrots, and peas too?) After dinner you get a birthday cake and a Happy Song is sung - just for you! And then, there are more presents! You feel like it's the 12 days of Christmas! All wrapped up into one day!

So, this is Christmas

Thank you everyone for making this Christmas a Christmas to remember!

From one party to another

This December has been the month of parties! It started with Caleb’s little friend Grady’s 1st birthday party. Then, this past week, we attended 3 holiday parties/celebrations: Ron’s company party, our church Christmas banquet, and a Christmas party at my Hungarian friends’ house. Next week, there’s another party at church. And we haven’t even had our annual Christmas party yet!

Caleb accompanied us to all three parties this week. We observed that he behaved similarly at all three events. I would carry him into the party in the sling carrier, where he would be so very quiet for about the first hour, looking all around, just taking everything in, and snuggling close to me, hiding his face when someone came too close. This “quiet hour” actually was very useful for me, for I could talk & socialize freely and also eat undisturbed.

But then, he would start to warm up. The first sign of this might be a smile cracked at one of the strangers. Or he might start squirming in the carrier, letting me know that he is ready to be let out. I’d take him out and he would start exploring the place: walking, crawling, flirting and playing peek-a-boo with the people there, the same people from whom he had previously hidden his face.

(He is going through a stranger anxiety phase, for lately every now and again he’ll burst into tears at the sight of certain people and he does this shy, face-hiding thing from those who approach him maybe too quickly or too close for his comfort.)

At each party, once he familiarized himself with the new situation, he happily tried foods from my plate, allowed people to hold him, and was in very good spirits, smiling and giggling, but not at all disruptive. Like he knew what was acceptable behavior. At one party, he held out way past his bedtime, being very pleasant and trying to be good even at the very end, though he was utterly exhausted. He passed out in the car even before we left the street. (This was also the party, where he used the toilet like a big boy!) He’s been such a cooperative baby. Really, it’s been no trouble taking him to any of these events.

A couple of weeks ago we also took him to a 2-hour Christmas musical production (once again, past his bedtime). He was in awe of the light show, loving the music (he rocked back and forth in my lap), watching with wide eyes and asking to go back and forth between Mama and Dada every so often, finally falling asleep in my arms listening to the sound of my humming over his head. At times, the music was so loud that I had to hold my hand over his ear. But he slept through the second hour, awakening only when we were leaving the building. As we stepped out into the cold dark night, he revived, and was happy as a lark as we walked to our parked car. Later that night, we summed up our evening with him in two words: DREAM CHILD. We have a dream child.

Dream child, you will have your own party in just a little while.

Potty Talk

Well, I never thought I’d say this, but we’re switching to cloth diapers. It has nothing to do with the environment. It has everything to do with potty training. Let me explain.

I’m in the process of reading a couple of books: "Early-Start Potty Training" by Dr. Linda Sonna and "Diaper Free" by Ingrid Bauer. They deal with the view that babies can and should be potty trained early, much earlier than the average age for completing potty training in Western developed nations, which is 35 months for girls and 39 months for boys. The current view on toilet training in the United States and Western Europe is to wait until the child shows readiness, because of the belief that they lack muscle control before 2.5-3 years of age (and some psychological nonsense). Whereas, in much of Asia, Africa, South America and Eastern Europe, they know that babies can be trained to use the toilet much sooner. In parts of the world where disposable diapers are not big business, babies are successfully potty trained by 12-18 months, and often much earlier. In fact (growing up in Eastern Europe), my own mother started toilet training me as soon as I was able to sit up and I was daytime trained by the time I turned 1.

There are many arguments for early training: it’s more hygienic; it’s harder to train after the age of two when the habit of going in the diaper has become ingrained; it reduces the risk of bladder problems later on; it teaches children to respect their bodies; it reduces baby’s contact with unsafe chemicals in disposable diapers, etc. To me, the most powerful argument is that by leaving children in diapers for 2-3 years, we are in essence training them to use their diapers as a wearable toilet only to have to re-train them later to use the toilet. Why not just train them to go straight to the toilet? This makes perfect sense to me.

The authors go through the historical context, which is very interesting. They point out that before the arrival of disposable diapers, early toilet training was the norm in America, too. The debate then was whether parents should start to train at 2 months or wait until the ripe old age of 3 months. In 1946, Dr. Spock shocked the nation when he suggested that parents wait to put their children on the potty until 7-9 months of age. When disposable diapers came out in 1961, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a pediatrician, was hired by Procter & Gamble (maker of Pampers) as their spokesperson. He cited the need for “physical, mental, and emotional readiness” and toilet training was pushed back even more. Psychologists jumped on the bandwagon, claiming that early training damages the child’s psyche (it’s actually not early training, but harsh training methods that do this). Well, as you can guess, a booming disposable diaper industry followed! Now we know why America’s children are in diapers until the age of 3 and beyond!

Anyway, to get back to my original thought: the reason we are switching to cloth (in the daytime). Because cloth diapers allow the child to feel wetness unlike disposable diapers and cloth diapered babies finish toilet training on average a whole year earlier than their disposable diapered friends! So I find this a natural next step in training Caleb. He needs to be able to feel when he is wet.

About a month ago, we began preparing Caleb for toilet training. We bought a potty and began getting him used to sitting on it, at first fully clothed; we began using the proper words for elimination when it happened; as well as showing him what it looks like (because, you know, diapered children never actually see their own waste). He also observed us using the toilet.

Then, a week ago, I decided to start putting him on the potty and holding him over the toilet regularly. Well, the day we started, he did not have a wet diaper all morning until that afternoon (because we left the house). He now pees on cue when I make a “pshh” sound, if he has to go. If he doesn’t, we wrap it up quickly. (We don’t have time to sit on the toilet all day!) He always looks into the toilet bowl afterwards to see if there’s anything in there. I can see the little wheels turning in his head. He is making connections. We still have wet diapers, but he hasn’t had a poopy diaper since we’ve started a week ago!

When I began, I didn’t have too many expectations, really. I just knew that I wanted him to start associating the toilet with toileting. I know it might take a while to fully train him, where he lets us know when he needs to go. Or it may only take another couple of weeks. Who knows? I really don’t care much. My focus is not on how long it takes; I’m not doing this because I mind changing his diapers. Frankly, putting him on the potty regularly is much more work for me. But I feel that this is the RIGHT TIME to start teaching him, not 2 years from now, not even 1 year from now. Why train him to be comfortable going in his diaper, only to switch things around at some magical age and re-train him to then go in the toilet? That makes no sense. I feel strongly that it is in his best interest to start learning the proper place for elimination - now.

By the way, I looked into the studies, which actually DO NOT support delaying potty training into the 2nd and 3rd years. This is another one of those things that we always thought was based on extensive research and study. Come to find out, it was all for the good of the disposable diaper industry!

Some additional online resources on the subject:
http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1006fam_toilettrained06.html
http://www.parentingscience.com/science-of-toilet-training.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_Brazelton/toilet_training_brazelton.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_The_Complete/toilet_training_the_complete.html

Here comes St. Nicholas

Well, it is that time of year again: St. Nicholas Day! For those of you who haven't heard, St. Nicholas Day is celebrated today, the 6th of December, in Hungary and many other European countries. St. Nicholas comes the night before to visit children everywhere in Europe. Children lay their winter boots out in hopes that St. Nicholas will fill them during the night. On the morning of the 6th, good children find their boots filled with sweets, nuts and fruit; bad children find coal and switches. We were very good!! There were many goodies in our boots this morning. This little amateur version of the classic poem captures what happened at our house last night and this morning. Happy St. Nicholas Day, everyone!

Twas the night before St. Nicholas Day

When all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,

Well... maybe a mouse? Yikes!



The boots were laid out neatly in a straight row

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be through

The Cakes was nestled all snug in his bed

While visions of sweet Mama's milk danced in his head.



And Mama in her red pajamas all snuggly,

Thinking of her BabyCakes and her late-working hubby,

Hurriedly pulled out the hidden goodies

And quickly stuffed them into 3 pairs of booties.



Content that St. Nick had arrived

Photos and blog posts she then contrived

Admiring her work and eating a truffle,

She went promptly to bed with a whoosh and a hustle.



When she awoke the next morning and came down the stairs

Her sleep-laden eyes focused on what appeared to be

MORE GOODIES than what she remembered

St. Nicholas putting in the booties!



There were little glass bottles of Coca-Cola

In additional shoes strewn about

And more chocolate and more candy

In HER boots: she really lucked out!



Then Dada came downstairs, with twinkly eyes and dimples merry,

And all became clear regarding this great mystery:

(There were 2 Santas in the house!)

They shook as they laughed and opened their pleasures

This first St. Nicholas Day as a family, they always will treasure!