Potty Talk

Well, I never thought I’d say this, but we’re switching to cloth diapers. It has nothing to do with the environment. It has everything to do with potty training. Let me explain.

I’m in the process of reading a couple of books: "Early-Start Potty Training" by Dr. Linda Sonna and "Diaper Free" by Ingrid Bauer. They deal with the view that babies can and should be potty trained early, much earlier than the average age for completing potty training in Western developed nations, which is 35 months for girls and 39 months for boys. The current view on toilet training in the United States and Western Europe is to wait until the child shows readiness, because of the belief that they lack muscle control before 2.5-3 years of age (and some psychological nonsense). Whereas, in much of Asia, Africa, South America and Eastern Europe, they know that babies can be trained to use the toilet much sooner. In parts of the world where disposable diapers are not big business, babies are successfully potty trained by 12-18 months, and often much earlier. In fact (growing up in Eastern Europe), my own mother started toilet training me as soon as I was able to sit up and I was daytime trained by the time I turned 1.

There are many arguments for early training: it’s more hygienic; it’s harder to train after the age of two when the habit of going in the diaper has become ingrained; it reduces the risk of bladder problems later on; it teaches children to respect their bodies; it reduces baby’s contact with unsafe chemicals in disposable diapers, etc. To me, the most powerful argument is that by leaving children in diapers for 2-3 years, we are in essence training them to use their diapers as a wearable toilet only to have to re-train them later to use the toilet. Why not just train them to go straight to the toilet? This makes perfect sense to me.

The authors go through the historical context, which is very interesting. They point out that before the arrival of disposable diapers, early toilet training was the norm in America, too. The debate then was whether parents should start to train at 2 months or wait until the ripe old age of 3 months. In 1946, Dr. Spock shocked the nation when he suggested that parents wait to put their children on the potty until 7-9 months of age. When disposable diapers came out in 1961, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a pediatrician, was hired by Procter & Gamble (maker of Pampers) as their spokesperson. He cited the need for “physical, mental, and emotional readiness” and toilet training was pushed back even more. Psychologists jumped on the bandwagon, claiming that early training damages the child’s psyche (it’s actually not early training, but harsh training methods that do this). Well, as you can guess, a booming disposable diaper industry followed! Now we know why America’s children are in diapers until the age of 3 and beyond!

Anyway, to get back to my original thought: the reason we are switching to cloth (in the daytime). Because cloth diapers allow the child to feel wetness unlike disposable diapers and cloth diapered babies finish toilet training on average a whole year earlier than their disposable diapered friends! So I find this a natural next step in training Caleb. He needs to be able to feel when he is wet.

About a month ago, we began preparing Caleb for toilet training. We bought a potty and began getting him used to sitting on it, at first fully clothed; we began using the proper words for elimination when it happened; as well as showing him what it looks like (because, you know, diapered children never actually see their own waste). He also observed us using the toilet.

Then, a week ago, I decided to start putting him on the potty and holding him over the toilet regularly. Well, the day we started, he did not have a wet diaper all morning until that afternoon (because we left the house). He now pees on cue when I make a “pshh” sound, if he has to go. If he doesn’t, we wrap it up quickly. (We don’t have time to sit on the toilet all day!) He always looks into the toilet bowl afterwards to see if there’s anything in there. I can see the little wheels turning in his head. He is making connections. We still have wet diapers, but he hasn’t had a poopy diaper since we’ve started a week ago!

When I began, I didn’t have too many expectations, really. I just knew that I wanted him to start associating the toilet with toileting. I know it might take a while to fully train him, where he lets us know when he needs to go. Or it may only take another couple of weeks. Who knows? I really don’t care much. My focus is not on how long it takes; I’m not doing this because I mind changing his diapers. Frankly, putting him on the potty regularly is much more work for me. But I feel that this is the RIGHT TIME to start teaching him, not 2 years from now, not even 1 year from now. Why train him to be comfortable going in his diaper, only to switch things around at some magical age and re-train him to then go in the toilet? That makes no sense. I feel strongly that it is in his best interest to start learning the proper place for elimination - now.

By the way, I looked into the studies, which actually DO NOT support delaying potty training into the 2nd and 3rd years. This is another one of those things that we always thought was based on extensive research and study. Come to find out, it was all for the good of the disposable diaper industry!

Some additional online resources on the subject:
http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1006fam_toilettrained06.html
http://www.parentingscience.com/science-of-toilet-training.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_Brazelton/toilet_training_brazelton.html
http://www.dy-dee.com/Benefits_of_Cloth/Skin_Care/Toilet_Training_The_Complete/toilet_training_the_complete.html

Here comes St. Nicholas

Well, it is that time of year again: St. Nicholas Day! For those of you who haven't heard, St. Nicholas Day is celebrated today, the 6th of December, in Hungary and many other European countries. St. Nicholas comes the night before to visit children everywhere in Europe. Children lay their winter boots out in hopes that St. Nicholas will fill them during the night. On the morning of the 6th, good children find their boots filled with sweets, nuts and fruit; bad children find coal and switches. We were very good!! There were many goodies in our boots this morning. This little amateur version of the classic poem captures what happened at our house last night and this morning. Happy St. Nicholas Day, everyone!

Twas the night before St. Nicholas Day

When all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,

Well... maybe a mouse? Yikes!



The boots were laid out neatly in a straight row

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be through

The Cakes was nestled all snug in his bed

While visions of sweet Mama's milk danced in his head.



And Mama in her red pajamas all snuggly,

Thinking of her BabyCakes and her late-working hubby,

Hurriedly pulled out the hidden goodies

And quickly stuffed them into 3 pairs of booties.



Content that St. Nick had arrived

Photos and blog posts she then contrived

Admiring her work and eating a truffle,

She went promptly to bed with a whoosh and a hustle.



When she awoke the next morning and came down the stairs

Her sleep-laden eyes focused on what appeared to be

MORE GOODIES than what she remembered

St. Nicholas putting in the booties!



There were little glass bottles of Coca-Cola

In additional shoes strewn about

And more chocolate and more candy

In HER boots: she really lucked out!



Then Dada came downstairs, with twinkly eyes and dimples merry,

And all became clear regarding this great mystery:

(There were 2 Santas in the house!)

They shook as they laughed and opened their pleasures

This first St. Nicholas Day as a family, they always will treasure!

Happy 8 months to you!!!

We interrupt our coverage of Hungary to wish Caleb a Happy 8 months!

This is how he celebrated his big day.

A Hungarian holiday - I

~ Where Caleb flies on an airplane ~

So, let’s start with the beginning (and the end). The flight(s).

There: Our little traveler slept through almost the whole 8-hour transatlantic flight to Hungary. I nursed him on take-off and landing, so he didn’t have an earache from the pressure change. (Note to self: Next time, do not start nursing baby when plane begins to taxi down the runway until you are certain that take-off is imminent. Otherwise, 20 minutes later when the plane is finally cleared for take-off, you will be cajoling your already full baby to eat just a little bit more.)

This flight was wonderful. After Daddy played with him for an hour and exhausted him, Caleb was ready to settle down for a good night’s sleep. Mommy brought the Boppy pillow on the plane, so little BabyCakes knew no difference. He could have been sleeping on that pillow at home in front of the computer for all he knew, not 40,000 feet up in the air. He was so quiet that upon landing, people told us they didn’t even know there was a baby there. We just smiled and told them we had our secret.

Back: The flight back was a little different, because it was not an overnight flight, so Caleb did not sleep through. He did sleep for the first 3 hours though, including the lunch, so Mom could eat in peace (which meant a lot to her). After that, it was “pass the baby” for the next 6 hours. Caleb was in good spirits; he was boisterous, screeching with joy at the top of his lungs and laughing loudly. I think he enjoyed having both of our attentions. That flight was exhausting! But at least, he wasn't hurting and he was happy. But sheesh, was he loud! When we landed that flight, people said: “She (!) was very good.” Hey BabyCakes, there are worse things than being called a girl.

Firsts

We are back from vacation! Caleb has had many first experiences on our vacation in Hungary. He took his first ride in an airplane. He rode on the Metro, the bus, and the long-distance HEV train. He got a stroller and rode in it for the first time. He pulled himself to standing and was crazy happy at his success (at 2 in the morning, thanks to jet lag!). He swam in thermal waters, got his first haircut, and met the Hungarian side of his family. He had a lick of Ischler pastry and a lick of ice cream. He tried carbonated mineral water and liked it. He got his first mosquito bite (actually, a few) and got his first (slight) sunburn in 15 minutes on top of a castle. Oh yeah, he saw castle ruins for the first time. His grandfather took him camping for the first time, where he slept in a tent with Mom and Dad. He swam in Lake Balaton. He made his first friend (with 9 month old Domonkos) by first putting a hand on his back, and then putting his arm around his shoulder.

He’s been a very busy boy. He did so well on the trip, adjusting to all the travel and craziness we subjected him to. His routine was definitely shaken up, but he took it like a champ. He had a very good disposition throughout the vacation, despite being jet lagged and everything. He is such a happy baby and he brought so much joy to everyone who met him.

We took 1800 pictures, so I need a few days to organize them a bit. Then, I will be posting several Photo Blogs of our travels. Stay tuned!